The City

Sipology, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

There are so many songs about Long Beach and in a way, all of them fall short.

So I've been meaning to update this thing for a while; however, it's been hard. Not hard in the sense that my fingers were broken or something equally impossible [because, ouch]. No. Mainly, I just needed to digest and adjust. I needed change.

So I went and got a job. But then I realized, canvasing in triple digit weather wouldn't be fun. So I decided to head down to Long Beach.

I got in Saturday morning and as soon I stepped off the train and felt the cool beach weather, with the scenery the perfect blend of gritty grossness and local awesome... I knew it was a great idea.

Truly, Long Beach is a city of of vivid colors, tattoos, rainbows, and... well to a very small degree yuppies. But they've only managed to take over a single street. This is a city of the people. A city of good times cleverly hidden in plain view, as the passing tourist not from around would miss most of it's gems.

They say the freaks come out at night. But here, they just come out.

And damn, it's good to be back.

Things I Learned Today

IMG_4646, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

It's been a while since I've done a "Things I learned Today" post, so while editing this post I realized it was time. My original title was... trite. Not on purpose, just well... trite. I've come to some realizations in the few hours that I've been awake. And really, the fact that I've literally only been awake a few hour is a realization in itself. I went from: absolutely no sleep for the 40 hours connecting Monday - Tuesday; to sleeping long into Wednesday before going to a meeting; waking up early and being insanely productive by 2pm Thursday; to... just waking up a few hours ago on Friday. It's 3:27pm. And by a few hours I'm exaggerating the fact it's been about 2 and half hours only.

Yeah... as I'm sure is abundantly obvious at this point, I've got a sleeping problem. At which point, the problem is that I don't. And when I do, my body tries to over compensate. It's troublesome. Lack of sleep makes everything feel do or die, while simultaneously feeling like a high zombie that simply lacks all desire to move.

Heh. High Zombie... "BRAAAAAAAAAAINS! Uh... could you come to me brains? I think the couch is trying to swallow me... Oh.... Is the room spinning?"

In the meantime, the list.

1. I Need A New Coffee Machine.

• The one I have was useless when my mom gave it to me... wow 4 years ago. I kept it for sentimental value but... It's time for me to get real. My mom knew how addicted I was to coffee and she'd never want me to suffer through consistently meager cups of coffee out of some misplaced since of sentiment.

2. I need to finish filling out my fafsa information.

• And really, I do. It's already late, but for some reason I'm dragging my feet on the final step which is simply submitting a few lines saying "My Situation Has Not Changed." It's always the little things that I simply do not want to do.

3. I need to let go.

• I've never enjoyed the chase. It's not about the thrill of persistency and I've seen the kind of person you can become when you are constantly reaching out to people that do not reach back. It's a road that only has hurt on the other end. A road, I vowed early in life never to follow. So what do you do? What do I do? I move on.

No bye. No Aloha

Gotta

IMG_4717, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Three things. One day.

Thing one. While walking to Starbucks to get my pre-class coffee [Starbucks, because I've degenerated into a level of laziness that no longer permits me to make my own in the morning.] I noticed a snail on the ground. My first thought was, 'gross!' as I continued to walk by. However, a few feet past I thought, 'I should take a picture of it.'

Thing two. While waiting for the bus, I saw a man looking through an ash tray on the top of a trash can for a used cigarette. I offered him a new one. He looked at me like I was crazy.

Thing three. While walking home after my Intro to the Women's Movement class, I pass two women talking and walking in the opposite direction. As we approach to pass each other, I hear the woman closest to me say, "You gotta be healthier." And in the heartbeat that we are aligned, I see the other woman nod and a agree. It's only as I take the step to move beyond them that I fully realize the woman that agreed was holding a half eaten corn dog from the gas station I was about to pass.

New Genious

Randomly Yours, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Assumptions are funny things. Sometimes.In this instance, I'll go with funny.

To start this story, it should be known that I need to go grocery shopping. Currently, I have about 6 eggs, a packet of ramen, half a bottle of wine, 2 asian pears, and uncooked rice.

Yum!

And I know what you're thinking... That's food! Some people don't even have that! --- Or maybe not. But, by and by, friends will realize a glaring omission that makes that list of food unacceptable.

Coffee. I had none.

I found myself in a catch 22. It was to cold to leave the house to buy coffee; however it was also to cold to stay in the house without coffee. I spent most of the day in my room going back forth over what to do. Stay and be cold, or leave and be cold for a short while before returning with coffee?

Obviously, there was only ever one possible outcome. So I left on quest to buy a pound of coffee and possibly breakfast/lunch/dinner/ today's-one-and-only-meal. I get to Starbucks and proceed to buy a half pound of both a bold and a mild coffee. [I originally planned to get a bold and a decaf, but what can you do when they don't have any?]

Then came decision number 2: Mexican, Greek, or Subway?

It's cold as hell [where did that expression come from? Last I checked, hell is supposed to be supremely hot] outside, so I immediately cross out Subway. I then peak inside of the Mexican restaurant, look at the menu, and cross it off as well. Finally I go to the Pita Pit, which if I'm being honest was always going to be the end decision since I had been craving it. And set off for home.

Only... as I passed a gas station I started thinking.... I'd really like some chips & salsa with my pita. And by the time I get to the cash register I have a bag of chips, hot salsa, and a bottle of orange juice.

The guy behind the counter looks at my contraband then says, "Munchies?" With a little chuckle.

I should point out that at this point it's a little after 5pm and I haven't eaten or drunk anything since Saturday. So my reply was to chuckle [may have come out a tad desperate, since I was feeling distinctly zombie-like] and agree.

He then starts ringing me up and says, "That's cool as long as you don't make it a habit."

Huh? My brain asks. Make what a habit? Then I quickly replay our interaction, look at what he's ringing up and realize.... He thinks I'm high.

How sad.

I'll admit to have simply thrown on a pair of jeans and a hoodie before I leaving the house. But I didn't realize that without coffee flowing in my bloodstream I so closely resembled someone coming down from a high.

Honestly, I might have been offended of I didn't feel like an addict going through caffeine withdraws

Full Moon

50 WEST, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

It's cold, positively gray outside and I've got a huge cup of coffee.

It's nice. But I'm slipping, much like I always do.Slipping in the way it's very easy to start an unbreakable cycle. So I guess it's a good thing there's a 10-hour tozo underway right now.

I'll only be catching the last 3 to 4 hours of it, but I desperately need it. I don't know why I'm so easily thrown off kilter. And I wish more then anything it wasn't something I needed to work so hard at. I mean, most people wake up with their alarm, get dressed and do the things they need to do.

Me? Every step of the cycle from going to sleep to waking up is a struggle. And the slightest deviation puts things in a spin. So like I said, headed for a tozo. Because I could really really really use the Daimoku.

When the thorn bush turns white that's when I'll come home
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don't know where I'll go
And I don't know what I'll see
But I'll try not to bring it back home with me
___________________'Full Moon' - The Black Ghosts

A Cavallo

A Cavallo, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

An overcoat
Will take me anywhere
                The First Song - Band of Horses

So in a strange twist from the utter giddy emotions that were earlier this day... I find I've entered quite suddenly [or rather slowly eased into and suddenly realized I'd entered] that strange grouping of emotions that one usually only sees on comfortable rainy days or perfect summer afternoons. It's the mental frame of mind that stories are written too. Oddly enough, this time is usually met with the perfect song to accompany it. The song in fact is usually the device in which one realizes the mood has fallen on them.

It's nice.

It's the kind of mood that's perfect for a sweet cup of coffee and a small piece of chocolate. Or maybe a hot cup of tea and a good book? Either way moments like these are usually fleeting once one realizes it's presence and especially difficult to put to words.

So I'll just go get my coffee and enjoy what's left of it.

Today I learned...

IMG_3805, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

So once again, on this day that ends with d-a-y much like every other day... I have learned something. Quite a few somethings in fact. What? You ask. Enquiring minds want to know! You exclaim.

Well probably not.

However, sitting here with the Black Ghosts playing in the background I'm overcome with the urge to share anyway. So let's begin.

Today I learned:

1. I detest being kidnapped. Or rather, Personnapped. I haven't been a kid since I hit double digits. A little over a decade now.... [Yes yes! You love how I make myself seem older by saying "A little over a decade now" instead of... Since I was 10.] 

• To be fair. I wasn't personnapped today. In fact, I left with my aunt [somewhat] willingly 2 days ago. However, I left under the impression I would be returned to safety yesterday.... Not kept awake 2 days straight while in the presence of children no older then 4.... So not cool
  

2. I really don't like children that aren't my own.

• Well... That's not fair I suppose... I've not had any children. And I don't particularly dislike all children. That would mesh horribly with my future plans to dedicate a year as a volunteer abroad. 
  

So ok... Slight revision.

2b. I dislike the constant noise associated with unsupervised hyper children. - Not so much a new thing learned, as a.... Thing that I suddenly knew with absolute clarity.

3. If they don't have anything nice to say, I REALLY need to just walk away.

• Ok once again, this one technically came to me over the past couple of days... But bugger that. It's a huge realization. Arguing[slash]Debating with people with fundamentally different opinions then your own is like shouting at a brick wall; leaving you with a form of mental blue balls. Pissed and completely unsatisfied with the way things ended.
  

4. I should never again go two and a half days with out sleep or coffee. It's just... not conducive to me being anything remotely like a pleasant person to be around

Frustration

2169, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Frustration is spending 2 hours using the "not quite up to New York City standards" public transportation of LA to apply at a bookstore... Only to discover that they are in fact NOT hiring. Despite what you were told on the phone a few days prior.

In response to the great waste [which is what we will now call the total of 4 hours I'll have lost due to this trip], I made a pit stop at my thinking place. Yes. A coffee was definitely needed while I found myself once again back at square one. Trying to figure out where best to go from here.

It's funny, in the way life always isn't when it's trying to be as difficult as possible. One half of me would like to go home and have a rather spectacular sulk. While the other half would like nothing more then another coffee. This time, freshly brewed instead of iced. No doubt, the half of me that would rather have another coffee then sulk is the Buddhist half. After all, there's no time for sulking when one has great coffee. And a Buddhist should never sulk. It implies that one has given up.

I haven't. So I'll just go get that coffee

You, Me & the Bourgeoise

Rolling Woos...., originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Right now, I can be found doing what Americans all across the country did today. Drinking a coffee and eating a doughnut. However, unlike most American's I'm sure they used National Doughnut Day to eat great doughnuts and drink crappy coffee.

So of course i had to buck the trend. Or be a crappy trendy asshole. Or a be a broke college student determined to enjoy the few luxuries I can afford.

What did I do you ask? Well, I went for great coffee and a crappy doughnut. Actually... I'm kinda wishing I ditched the $1.50 overpriced crappy old fashioned doughnut from Starbucks and simply got the always delicious Iced Coffee w/Toffee Nut. Unfortunately, ditching the doughnut would have left me even worse off then before. After all, with out the doughnut, I'd be a Unpatriotic Trendy Asshole. And I really don't need more reasons for Red America to hate me.

So yeah. I've got the doughnut. The delicious coffee. And the almost empty bank account. The only options I have left to me are to either angst about the plight of the full-time College Student during the summer semester or.... Glance at the stock broker guy sitting a couple seats away from me looking utterly hopeless and be glad that I don't have his problems.

I'm going to go with the latter. One should never angst when in the presence of good music and good coffee.

Crappy Doughnut withstanding.

Bucks Coffee?

Bucks Coffee?, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

So, everyone's heard the whispers about Starbucks' instant and dollar coffee. And I'm sure.... Everyone has also thought, "Great, there goes the quality." Or at the very least, I know I did. As a former barista and life long coffee drinker the very idea of instant coffee is a bit offensive.

Well while I was in LA for Spring Break I ran into a a few old friends [read baristas] and got my hands on a packet of instant Starbucks coffee; as well as a couple pounds of beans. Naturally, that packet of instant coffee was thrown to the bottom of my bag while I fantasized about: getting home, grinding the coffee beans, and then making the perfect cup of coffee.

So I know what you're thinking, "Well where does the instant coffee come in?"

Let me ask you, have you ever taken an Amtrak train and wanted coffee? If you have, you know that what masquerade's as coffee is nothing more then brown colored water. And it just so happened that on my ride back to Sacramento I had an insanely strong urge for a good cup of coffee.

So what did I do?

I got the instant Starbucks Coffee out and prepared to be underwhelmed by an instant coffee that was only slightly better then the brown water alternative offered by Amtrak.

Only I was completely blown away over the coffee. It smelled and tasted as if the coffee had just been freshly brewed. It was amazing. I almost felt a little smug. After all, while the rest of the train was stuck pretending they enjoyed the hot water they were drinking; while I was drinking this cup of amazing.

Now the only problem? You can only get these portably cups of amazing on the east coast.... That is, unless you do the smart thing and order online....