New Genious

Randomly Yours, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Assumptions are funny things. Sometimes.In this instance, I'll go with funny.

To start this story, it should be known that I need to go grocery shopping. Currently, I have about 6 eggs, a packet of ramen, half a bottle of wine, 2 asian pears, and uncooked rice.


And I know what you're thinking... That's food! Some people don't even have that! --- Or maybe not. But, by and by, friends will realize a glaring omission that makes that list of food unacceptable.

Coffee. I had none.

I found myself in a catch 22. It was to cold to leave the house to buy coffee; however it was also to cold to stay in the house without coffee. I spent most of the day in my room going back forth over what to do. Stay and be cold, or leave and be cold for a short while before returning with coffee?

Obviously, there was only ever one possible outcome. So I left on quest to buy a pound of coffee and possibly breakfast/lunch/dinner/ today's-one-and-only-meal. I get to Starbucks and proceed to buy a half pound of both a bold and a mild coffee. [I originally planned to get a bold and a decaf, but what can you do when they don't have any?]

Then came decision number 2: Mexican, Greek, or Subway?

It's cold as hell [where did that expression come from? Last I checked, hell is supposed to be supremely hot] outside, so I immediately cross out Subway. I then peak inside of the Mexican restaurant, look at the menu, and cross it off as well. Finally I go to the Pita Pit, which if I'm being honest was always going to be the end decision since I had been craving it. And set off for home.

Only... as I passed a gas station I started thinking.... I'd really like some chips & salsa with my pita. And by the time I get to the cash register I have a bag of chips, hot salsa, and a bottle of orange juice.

The guy behind the counter looks at my contraband then says, "Munchies?" With a little chuckle.

I should point out that at this point it's a little after 5pm and I haven't eaten or drunk anything since Saturday. So my reply was to chuckle [may have come out a tad desperate, since I was feeling distinctly zombie-like] and agree.

He then starts ringing me up and says, "That's cool as long as you don't make it a habit."

Huh? My brain asks. Make what a habit? Then I quickly replay our interaction, look at what he's ringing up and realize.... He thinks I'm high.

How sad.

I'll admit to have simply thrown on a pair of jeans and a hoodie before I leaving the house. But I didn't realize that without coffee flowing in my bloodstream I so closely resembled someone coming down from a high.

Honestly, I might have been offended of I didn't feel like an addict going through caffeine withdraws


Am said...

i totally understand the coffee conundrum! i had to forgo my morning mug and i immediately thought that i was dying! hahaha

順利 said...


VeganBattleBot said...

"Currently, I have about 6 eggs, a packet of ramen, half a bottle of wine, 2 asian pears, and uncooked rice."

Now THAT sounds like a well-rounded diet! ;]