IMG_4110, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

I've been up since 2:30am and I went to sleep at 12am. Oddly enough... Well never mind, I'm every bit as tired as you can imagine.

My grandmother decided she wanted to go visit my cousin since I would be going back to Sacramento today. I suggested she leave early. She chose 4am. So I was up and ready to drive her to the Amtrak station for her 4am bus. Good times really, it's the least I can do considering all the times our situations have been reverse.

So what have I been doing since then? Making sure I don't leave anything vital when my ride gets here at six. It amazes me. No matter how light I pack, I always end up taking an extra bag back. Gotta love the worrying spirit of the grandmother that ensures you have what you need plus everything she thinks you need.

But really, on the drive back from the train station I realized how much I appreciate LA and KCRW. Honestly, radio stations like KCRW are a dying breed and I'm glad to say LA is home to one of the best. And while listening to the station I came to another realization.

What is it, you ask? It's, while I still think Morrissey is a pretentious asshole... Some of his music really is quite good.

"None of these mindless dolts have any idea how lucky they are. They live perfect lives, eating fries whenever they please, laughing and joking with their perverted condescension. Mark my words--- I will spite these fry-gorged gargoyles. The street will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers!" IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas - Chuck Klosterman



Connect, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Today the Associated Press correspondent for Iraq, Chelsea Carter, came to talk to about 40 Journalist Majors at Sac State. Why? Because she's an alumn, believe it or not and the experience was so much more then I expected.

Which isn't really saying much as I'm not sure exactly WHAT I was expecting. Honestly, I think I may have went in with my fair share of cynicism. Expecting her to either speak down to us, over glorify the life, or over simplify it.

She did just the opposite. She spoke frankly, and honestly. She made sure we knew the pay was horrible, lol. That we understood the hours could be endless. And that we would without a doubt be starting out at the bottom.

However, the most important thing expressed by her in every single response she gave was the undeniable love she still had for the art. At the end of the Q&A she asked for a show of hands of all who planned on going into the business. Unsurprisingly, most of the people in the hall raised her hands. Then she asked for a show of hands on how many people were planning to go into print. Also unsurprising, there was maybe 9 other hands other then my own. To us she gave a special kudos. After all, if the media were to be believed newspaper writing is a dying medium. And of course the vast majority of students in attendance had aspirations of broadcast.

Chelsea Carter was absolutely what I needed. She didn't sugar coat life as a journalist. She let us know that more and more to be competitive one needed to be a sort of one man band. Can you also take the pictures for your story? Brilliant. Can you edit a video? Brilliant. Can live on coffee alone? Brilliant.

Just kidding about the last one. But seriously, where some might have been discouraged by the frank way she let it be known that we would most likely never be rich... I was completely fine with that.

After all, who needs to be rich when you're doing what you love?


Mouth Full of Water

IMG_4111, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Woe = Over

Seriously. I am who I am. And people are who they are. I can't believe I actually went to sleep distressed, trying to figure out how best to change my personality. That's not the way life works. That's not the way I work.

To go through life constantly concerned with whether you offend people simply by being you, is to go through life as an other. And I left that behind in high school.

Sure, you don't want to be overtly in your face offensive. But to be anything, but who I am at all times would be to slander myself. And I wont do that.

So I've decided. It's time to create a distance between us. After all, being told 3 times in so many weeks that someone you consider a close friend can't stand aspects of your personality is damaging to a girl's self esteem.

It'll take time to back from this. But we will. Or at least I will. The only person I control is me. And the only way I know how to be is genuine.



IMG_3970, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

What is it about me that brings out the immaturity in others? That's the question posed to me. And it's question I desperately wish I had the answer to.

It's come to my attention that I bring out the worst in people. People that would otherwise be serious, find themselves in a goofy joking mood around me. That's apparently not a good thing.

It's something that I hate to say is currently weighing my spirit down. I hate to be a bother to anyone. So when a woman I otherwise look up to can barely stand to look at me, let alone speak to me other then to say that I basically bring out the worst in people....

It's discouraging. We went to a Rock the Era meeting today. A meeting where youth are supposed to be coming together to really change their lives for the better. And we walked away... In discord.

Maybe it's time for me to take a step back.


Our Anniversary

President-Elect Obama, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

It's our one year anniversary Mr. President. I bet you thought that in the face of: all of your bad press, your inability to get the Democrats to stop acting like pussies, and to keep the Republicans from being assholes... that I would have forgotten. I haven't. I could never forget the person I worked so hard to get in my life simply because our two party system collectively makes the genitals of a two bit whore.

In fact, I can remember the exact moment CNN let me know that you'd be mine. I may or may not have shed a couple tears. So in honor of our anniversary, I've posted a small excerpt from the speech you made.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America — I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you — we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

-- President Elect - Barack Obama. November 4th 2008

Actually, now that I think about it Mr. President... I'm a bit let down. Not by you per se... But the democracy that elected you also took away my right to get married. And while I appreciate your chances of re-election are almost non-existent if you supported me the way you originally said you would in your campaign... It's also the reason that I must say that you are still a Democrat. A nice one, but a Democrat none the lass.

I mean, that's not a total bad thing I guess. I AM a lesbian, after all.



IMG_4047, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Today has been one of those days. A day that was both monumentally dull and far to loud, while being simultaneously silent with far to much going on under the surface.

My fellow crazy people know what I mean.

In other news it is once again NaNoWriMo time. National Novel Writing Month, for those of you who haven't surrounded themselves with aspiring writers. I have a few friends participating this year and I'm more then happy to once again be a part of the cheer squad.

However, for the first time the beginning of NaNo finds me in a intrigued sort of mood. Intrigued in the quiet flirting kind of way in which your fingers slide over the keyboard as if to say hello to an old lover with unfinished business. I'm curious. And while I have no plans of writing a 100 page work of fiction... I think I may attempt another something that has been floating around my mind.



Even Say

IMG_3959, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Updates make the heart grow fonder.

Or rather, absence makes the heart grow fonder and updates remind you that it's never as good as you remember it to be... haha.

So last night I went to a mini going away party for a friend that's moving to Chicago today. It was good times and just the way I always envisioned my 20s. Surrounded by friends, music, coffee and alcohol. And as I fell asleep last night I came to the realization... The life I've always seen myself living is very much in Sacramento.

This is something that I've been reluctant to admit to myself. Mainly because of all the drama that it WILL cause. Moving to Sacramento was meant to be a temporary just for school thing. And even then, it was frowned upon.

Oh well. If I'm going to be telling people to do what makes them happy, I better be backing it up in my own life.


ps: I'm getting kind of good at this Point & Shoot thing, no? Almost like I know what I'm doing.