This has been a summer of consistent challenges for me.
For the most part, I'd like to say I've been winning. But everyone has a moment of critical mass. The moment when you stop, truly look at your situation and feel overwhelmed.
The moment you get once you look around yourself, and you just have to ask whether you're truly accomplishing anything... Truly doing your best, surviving...
And if your like me, being forced to ask for help feels a lot like failure.
So today when I realized that I needed to ask for help, and had no immediate means to do so.. Meaning that I had to ask random neighbors to use their phone... Well...
Let's just say after the phone call there was a very cinematic break down involving me closing my front door, sliding down it and crying in frustration.
It was frustrating. But once it was over I realized quite a bit. After all, how fortunate am I to be able to call for help and immediately receive it?
Also, I realized that for all the talk of banking reform... It's still completely archaic. It's very easy to understand how quickly a person's life can be changed due to situations beyond their control. A person can go from a steady job, paying bills on time and having a nice nest egg in their savings account... To... Suddenly being without a job, bills automatically coming out of an empty account, and your bank calling to let you know that no matter how loyal you'd been in the past... Your single month of misfortune would soon be haunting you for the next 7 years.
I read an article not to long ago that stated business that were hiring were not looking at the unemployed. Operating under the 'blame the victim' mentality. Saying that, the unemployed were that way for a reason. So they dedicate their time to stealing employed workers. While the unemployed fall deeper into debt.
So I was thinking... I want to be self sufficient. Yes, I can accept that asking for help isn't a sin. However, I also accept that Money, while not the root of all evil... Is the means in which lives are built and destroyed.
Navigating life is such a curiously hard thing at times. I'll be 23 soon. I'm getting older, and yet my level of understanding of the world at large is ever changing. I wonder if I'll ever get it.
This has been a summer of consistent challenges for me.
Long walks on the beach...
No really though... My newest hobby is one born out necessity. Actually I'm not even sure it counts as a hobby...What is a hobby anyway? I mean, what counts under the official header of the word?
Let's pause while I open a new tab and ask the almighty Google that question...
So Ok.. Google, got crazy technical with the first definition.
Hobby: [a]avocation: an auxiliary activity. [b] A hobby is an activity or interest that is undertaken for pleasure or relaxation, often in one's spare time.
Ah, the second definition is the winner. But more importantly, it affirms my original thought... I have a new hobby.
What is this new hobby? I hear you ask... Simple really. My new hobby involves me waiting until the sun has stopped torturing the Earth with it's obnoxious Summer heat... And then waiting a little longer, depending on what I'm doing when the sun finally goes down... Walking to Starbucks, and freeloading off of their internet for 2 to 3 hours.
It's really quite nice.
It combines a few of my favorite things into one. Night - Cold Weather - and the information overload known commonly as - the Internet.
Once again I must state: Yes. I am a geek.
Actually I'm about to confirm that a little more and make myself sound truly said... In the past 3 weeks I've played Mass Effect twice and have started my 3rd playthrough on the Veteran setting [I'm going for 100% Achievement completion]... Read 3 books with a 250 page minimum... And added to a new story in single sentence increments...
Actually... That just makes me sad.
Wait no it couldn't be...
Yes, Yes I know. The tales of my demise were woefully exaggerated! So here i sit at a Starbucks patio, listening to the Gossip [a band I can thank Coachella and an ex friend for convincing me to finally give them a chance] and I had the sudden urge to blog.
But about what? That status of my life? And update on the financial situation I find myself? Weather in Sacramento?
Why not all of the above?
So here we go... Life is... Interesting. As always it is a series of ups and downs. Greetings and goodbyes. Music and Books. And games I once thought horribly frustrating only to discover first impressions are not always the best.
After my 2 week stay in Long Beach I once again returned to Sacramento to discover the weather was exactly as I feared. Triple digits with no real respite at night. It was like being at Co-a-chella with out the pay off of live music. But I survived.
I WILL SURVIVE!
Sorry. But alas, the weather today is so... pleasant. It's hard to believe I'm still in Sac. And as for the money situation... lol. Yeah. Let's just say,I made the impossible possible. Even if all of the comforts have been cut out to make it happen. Wifi at home? Gone. Copious amounts of coffee at home? Don't think so. Money in the bank? Literally negative.
But food in the fridge? Yep.
On the music front, I've always known that I liked Tori Amos. I just never ventured past the point of knowing to having... That is until I rediscovered Happy Phantom and knew without a doubt that I NEEDED to own that album. I by need, I do mean need, that song makes me Happy. Which is fitting... You know, because of the name.
Books... I was gifted one by another SGI member and I'm eternally grateful. Any book lover knows that to be given a loved book from another book lover is about the highest form of flattery. After all, book lovers love their books. It's doubly amazing when the book you've been given has been out of print for 20 years and is in perfect condition.
Needless to say, I can't wait to really bury myself in it's theoretical goodness.
Finally games... Games... Xbox 360... How I love you. When Mass Effect first came out, it was given to me as a Christmas present by a really good friend of mine. Unfortunately, at the time I had the attention span of a gnat fly and the patience of a toddler. Needless to say, I wasn't digging the scifi rpg. But that was then. And now? That game has entered the Pantheon of Bioshock and Fable II to become one of my favorites. [Speaking of games.. OMFG I CAN'T WAIT FOR FABLE III[/endgeekout] ]
Yes I know.... short list. But I'm picky in all things.
And... That's it. I've exhausted my list of updates and now I'll resume my usual programming.
We're not droplets in the ocean.... I want the truth | Unnatural Selection | Muse