In crisis

The New Sexual Revolution, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.
So, yesterday we addressed the fact that I say: You know? Life is funny sometimes... Quite a bit.

So of course it only made sense that today, the universe decided to show me just how funny it can be. So let's begin:

Life is funny sometimes... In a not kind of way.

Reason number one: It's raining in LA... RAINING! I just left rain! I expected SUN and heat and... You know... NOT RAIN!

Anéwé.... [french joke]

Reason number two, three and four: And really, I have no idea how to even go about articulating this one... So I'll explain from the beginning...I went on a Best Friend Date today... [You know, like... a Bromance, but with out the bro or the lack of intelligence]. We went to our [formally favorite] Barnes & Noble, expecting: good coffee, better magazines and amazing books...

Almost immediately we go for coffee [as that's always the first step.] And my coffee was obnoxiously bad. I mean, beyond the pale. To be clear, it's the coffee you serve someone right before you break up with a person and tell them you never liked them anyway...

Then, after I get a comped Americano [like I said... I wasn't drinking that coffee] I make my way to the magazine racks only to discover my three favorite magazines just aren't being carried anymore.

Which magazines? You ask. Good, Mojo, and Juxtapose.

Now thoroughly off my game, I attempt to settle for other magazines... It didn't work. So I made my way upstairs. Determined to at least get something out of this trip, I attempt to finish out my Christmas list [the little people's gifts] by buying them graphic novels.

HOWEVER... Right as I got into my book browsing groove... Right as I start to feel like B&N had finally redeemed itself for it's previous crimes against me... All of a sudden, this Big Bertha of a woman interjects herself into my awareness...

Now, I know what you're thinking... You're a nice person Candyce! What was the harm in having a conversation with a stranger up on her comic lore???

Well, first of all... There is none. The problem is...

Big Bertha: n 1. Used to describe an old, overweight, super butch in prison. They generally attempt to take young unassuming convicts under their wing to turn them into their 'women.2 Same as the above, except the Bertha is out in the real world...

Now as you can see, if I've described this woman as a Bertha... That makes me the young unassuming woman, and Dear, God...

It wasn't disturbing because she was butch or overweight.. It was disturbing because she seemed to think I was barely legal. Going so far as to say, "You're probably to young to remember the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles..."


And yet, she spent at least 40 minutes trying to pick me up! Now this woman HAD to be at least as old as my Grandmother, or at the very least, only a few years younger!

Then, to top off my day...

Reason number five: I discover a credit card company has basically been stealing me blind for the past 6 months and that I have to wait until Monday to even speak to them about it!

::deep breaths::

The good news?

In an hour a new day starts and I can start again. Hopefully the universe decides to smile on my again.

I do believe... | They Will Appear | Akron/Family

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