Sisterhood [and the secret handshake] is Powerful

Amanda Palmer, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.
So, I’ve been thinking [I know, I know. Be careful!] But alas, I’ve been thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion that we lesbian and gender-queer identified really DO need a secret handshake, a baseball like [is softball more appropriate here?] hand signal, or perhaps we could develop code words meant to be dropped within the first few moments of conversation so that it can be established that yes… We are both friends of Ani [DiFranco] 
  • And isn’t it funny that she’s such a lesbian icon? You know… considering how not a lesbian she is?

Now already, I know what you’re thinking. It’s probably along the lines of, "...wha?" But see, there is a NEED! I’m sure we’ve all experienced at least once that semi awkward moment of wanting to acknowledge a fellow lady lover [in a clearly platonic way], but not exactly sure how to go about it. Resulting in you coming across as either some odd person with a twitch or an incredibly rude problem with staring…. And ok maybe you haven’t had those exact  end results, but still.

Take for example, band shirts and rainbows. YAY rainbows! The universal sign for same sex lovin’! Right? No. Absolutely not. In an age where old is new, and Hot Topic stores trend… The Rainbow has been relocated to the land of has been symbols. It still has it’s meaning, you just have to search really hard to find someone that still cares.

As for band shirts… Well, since when has one’s musical taste been a way to accurately judge someone’s bed partner preference? After all, simply wearing a shirt doesn’t even mean a person likes the band. I mean, the amount of times I’ve heard statements along the lines of, “Oh this is a band? I just like the color/design/caption...” Could make even passing lover of music cry. 

So when I run into a girl with an Uh Huh Her, shirt on… I immediately think, “Lesbian! Yay! Let’s talk about Leisha Hailey, The Murmers, and K.D. Lang!”

Then I pause and think… What if she’s not a lesbian? What if she just likes the band? What if she doesn’t even know it’s a band!? So then there’s an internal sigh. Followed by thoughts along the lines of… Well I’ve glanced at her to many times now I should say something! However, now all I can think of to say is…

“Nice shirt.” Nice shirt! I mean, sure. People love compliments on the clothes they're wearing. After all like Seinfield said, the sole purpose of clothes are to get complements for the people wearing them. However, after all that internal build up ‘nice shirt’ feels like such an anti-climatic thing to say that I end up walking away.

Hence, the need for the handshake.

After all, if there were a handshake then one could immediately bypass any and all uncertainty. You initiate the handshake, if she completes it… You proceed, sister to sister… Because sisterhood is powerful. [And now everyone needs to go read Sister Safety Pin by Lorrie Sprecher so that line can be fully appreciated.]

In the likely chance that the handshake is met with a blank stare… Well first you pretend the handshake was  simply some random bit of nothing. [It’s secret for a reason] Then you could attempt to enter the conversation based solely on enjoying the band’s music.

However, if that is also met with a blank stare… DO NOT ENGAGE! The baffled confusion you’ll be left in, wont be worth whatever answer they give you as to why they’re wearing the shirt in the first place.


I see now this was less an update as a ramble. But really ladies? Stop confusing me.

1 comment:

Am said...

Yeah...excuse me for my not being a lesbian..I hope were still friends. Like we could totally have a handshake as well! Lmao