I need to get away, to feel again - "First Love" Adele
Two posts in one day; oh the power of your own personal New Year! For me, it lead to a wee bit of introspection and I've decided that I need to live in a collective.
I don't want any part of anybodies corporate country. I want to live my life surrounded by writers, artists and philosophers. And really, I don't care if that comes of a tad pretentious or even naive. The older I get, the more certain I am that I wasn't meant for the structured life of the 9 to 5 world. My wants and desires are simple. I've never wanted the big house, expensive cars and notoriety. I want a bed, music, books and my laptop. I mean really, simplify my life to those basic components and I'd be happy. I used to think that the list of things I needed included a car, but really... My bike will do.
I'm tired of being surrounded by people who's every goal boils down to how big their paycheck will be in the future. How sweet their car will be and how much respect they'll command in the future. Because really, what about now? How can a person ever truly be happy if the things they most concern themselves with are so fleeting in nature?
A life full of things is nothing with out the experiences that will make you smile on your deathbed. Of this I'm certain. However, living with this philosophy isn't easy. Simple wants aren't congratulated by family. Big dreams and unrealistic goals are. Being the oldest means getting the degree, the paycheck and letting it trickle down to younger siblings and cousins.
So then the question arises... Is my simple life philosophy a selfish one? Does being the oldest literally mean that one has to deny themselves for the younger? Does being the first in a University mean that I must hurry to finish?
Some say yes. My heart says otherwise. My mind says to do what needs to be done to stay sane.
The brain has never been much help in things like this