Claim

ts, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

When you are young and raised as a Christian... Or rather, when you are young and from a family with deep roots in the South and raised a Baptist... Correction Missionary Baptist [12 loyal years, 3 confused years, and 3 forced years later, I'm still not sure what the distinction means. | For those attempting the math, I stopped going the week after I turned 18.]

But my point...

When you are raised by black transplants... [I prefer to use the word, "black." Why? Because as a little person I thought if I used only the word 'black,' in reference to myself people would see how ridiculous it is. After all, I'm pretty sure I passed kindergarden for a reason... One of them was my ability to distinguish colors. Upon learning that skill I realized I was... In fact... Brown! And as I grew older I just found 'black' less... Other than 'African-American.' I didn't immigrate here... So why would I need an extra quantifier on American? Most days even that label feels to heavy in the face of its government's decisions...]

But once again... I've gotten lost in a tangent in what is, or should be, a fairly serious post.

When you are raised the way I was, there are certain phrases that stick with you. Like a certain pastor's favorite phrase... Or certain unspoken Church specific rules.... But mainly, it will be the little things that all of the very old women that crowded you as a child never stopped repeating... And of course was then echoed from everyone with the will to hear.

For tonight's purpose, I'll tell you the one being focused on: Don't Claim It

Of course, you'd never hear it that straight forward from one of them... No no, for them you need any number of quantifiers... like: [fuck it never mind, I was going to type them the way they end up sounding but it just looks stupid] Child, girl, son, etc...

And as cliche as it is... Even though it's a holdover from a place full of hypocrisy... It's something that's stayed with me.

When I'm worried? Don't claim it. When I'm ill? Don't claim it. When I might be ill?

Yeah. You get the idea.

However, as I sit hear with a pounding headache on the cusp of giving in and acknowledging that there might be a problem... I can't help but hear an old women muttering, not to claim it.

But, how much of that is wisdom passed down through ages... And how much of it is sticking your ass in the air and hoping if you bury your head low enough it will go away?

I don't know, and I've got years of hiding from possible endgame probabilities under my belt.

To some degree I still am. With one breath I resolve to get answers, with the next I hope it will all go away. With the third I pretend the last two thoughts never happened and change the song...

I'm not really sure where to end this. There is no answer to my question of the day. If there were, there'd be no conflicted pain filled emotions to spur this post.

And by pain filled, I mean literal head pain. I'm not so angsty as to just throw around melodrama the way the Godmother threw around money...

Google her


Lift every voice and sing..

Wonderful

King Khan and the Shrines, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

So it's that time of the year again, and I couldn't imagine a better intro to the year than this.

The Coachella Line-up has been announced.

And while there are many [as always] that are bemoaning Coachella's 'sold out soul' I am excited.

What's funny is, right now.. I'm mostly excited by an all black cast.

Lauryn Hill.
Erykah Badu
Nas & Damien Marley
Kanye West...

I was so shocked and elated by those 5 names I completely missed the rest of the line-up. Meaning that I've endured rolling waves of excitement as each new band entered my awareness.

Scissor Sisters.... Trentmoller... CSS... Cee lo... Raphael Saadiq... Cold War Kids.. Gogol Bordello... Flogging Molly...

Seriously, and that's so just the tip of the iceberg. There will be I believe 180 bands this year. That means I once again must educate myself on the bands I don't know and brush up on the ones I love.

But oddly, I've found a new component to love and look forward to Coachella.

My sister.

Or rather, the musical sponge that she is right now. She's in this place where everything is shiny. She's a teenager and she's really beginning to understand how awesome and vast the world is. And thanks to me... [I'm not being full of myself, it's seriously thanks to me exposing her to different things and talking to her like a young adult instead of a child...] She's fully in a place to embrace it. She's ready for the mind blowing experience that is discovering a new band and hearing it live.

And what's more... I'm starting to realize that I want to be the one to introduce her to the world of live music. So I've promised to take her to Coachella next year. And I will, even if I have to give up coffee for a month.

Why?

Because it's really freaking awesome having a little sister that you see yourself in. [What can I say? I'm slightly a narcissist] Also... I don't know how to fully explain...

I guess it's like being a parent and discovering that your child actually looks up to you and considers you a major factor in their musical foundations.

I had that bond with both my parents. And because of that I was constantly defending my absolute love for Michael Jackson and Aerosmith. But I never felt odd or weird. I felt like I was leagues above my friends, because I wasn't afraid to sit down and give new music a try.

And now my sister has that bond with me. It's pretty cool. All the BS they sell you about the The Joys of being an Older Sister actually pan out...

You know... What's you survive their annoying years.

But seriously, dude....

Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu....

Nevermore

Nevermore, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

My iPod, elle est morte...

As in, she has gone to gadget heaven and it's time for me to move on. Simple enough as I'd been cheating on her for almost a year with my new love: Nexus One.

That's not to say I didn't love her anymore. I did. I mean, sure... I was no longer technically in- love with her anymore... But one doesn't just have a 3 year relationship end without some feelings of remorse and loss. After all, 3 years can hold quite a few memories of good times.

However, just as the sun will rise, so to will it set. And it has finally set on my Apple flavored lifeline.

I'll admit, this relationship ends with a few bitter feelings. After all... When I was with Creative they never died on me!

But really, my iPods death was just a formality. The final nail in the coffin that was our relationship.

I'd moved on. There was a new gadget in my life that did all that I asked for and more...

So on this day... December 29th, 2010... I say goodbye. May you enjoy the Apple-afterlife on the Island of Forgotten Toys

In my moment of introspective silence... I play:

The Way The Wind Blows | A Hawk and a Hack Saw

In crisis

The New Sexual Revolution, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

So, yesterday we addressed the fact that I say: You know? Life is funny sometimes... Quite a bit.

So of course it only made sense that today, the universe decided to show me just how funny it can be. So let's begin:

Life is funny sometimes... In a not kind of way.

Reason number one: It's raining in LA... RAINING! I just left rain! I expected SUN and heat and... You know... NOT RAIN!

Anéwé.... [french joke]

Reason number two, three and four: And really, I have no idea how to even go about articulating this one... So I'll explain from the beginning...I went on a Best Friend Date today... [You know, like... a Bromance, but with out the bro or the lack of intelligence]. We went to our [formally favorite] Barnes & Noble, expecting: good coffee, better magazines and amazing books...

Almost immediately we go for coffee [as that's always the first step.] And my coffee was obnoxiously bad. I mean, beyond the pale. To be clear, it's the coffee you serve someone right before you break up with a person and tell them you never liked them anyway...

Then, after I get a comped Americano [like I said... I wasn't drinking that coffee] I make my way to the magazine racks only to discover my three favorite magazines just aren't being carried anymore.

Which magazines? You ask. Good, Mojo, and Juxtapose.

Now thoroughly off my game, I attempt to settle for other magazines... It didn't work. So I made my way upstairs. Determined to at least get something out of this trip, I attempt to finish out my Christmas list [the little people's gifts] by buying them graphic novels.

HOWEVER... Right as I got into my book browsing groove... Right as I start to feel like B&N had finally redeemed itself for it's previous crimes against me... All of a sudden, this Big Bertha of a woman interjects herself into my awareness...

Now, I know what you're thinking... You're a nice person Candyce! What was the harm in having a conversation with a stranger up on her comic lore???

Well, first of all... There is none. The problem is...

Big Bertha: n 1. Used to describe an old, overweight, super butch in prison. They generally attempt to take young unassuming convicts under their wing to turn them into their 'women.2 Same as the above, except the Bertha is out in the real world...

Now as you can see, if I've described this woman as a Bertha... That makes me the young unassuming woman, and Dear, God...

It wasn't disturbing because she was butch or overweight.. It was disturbing because she seemed to think I was barely legal. Going so far as to say, "You're probably to young to remember the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles..."

:blinks:

And yet, she spent at least 40 minutes trying to pick me up! Now this woman HAD to be at least as old as my Grandmother, or at the very least, only a few years younger!

Then, to top off my day...

Reason number five: I discover a credit card company has basically been stealing me blind for the past 6 months and that I have to wait until Monday to even speak to them about it!

::deep breaths::

The good news?

In an hour a new day starts and I can start again. Hopefully the universe decides to smile on my again.

I do believe... | They Will Appear | Akron/Family

Candid Play

Candid, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

I can't believe I only updated this twice this month! Well, three now including this one... Which means I updated my blog 3 times in September... My birthday is September 3rd....

Wow...


But in other news.. Morgan Webb of G4 fame came to my school and did a Q&A where she was super candid and super awesome.

Maybe I should tell you why she was awesome... In short, because she's real and honest. But what's, more she's absolutely a real gamer. She's tired of answering the 'Girl Gamer" question and Nintendo is a hilarious subject to get her started on. She's still all about the Android Nation and immediately recognized my Nexus for what it was [actually I think she has one too.]. However, I think what makes her even more awesome is the fact that the game she's most looking forward to right now is Fable 3.

I'M looking forward to Fable 3!

She was great though and it was so obvious that the only people that showed up for her Q & A session were gamers that watch G4. Which makes sense, how else would they know enough about her to care?

After the q&a however, she took pictures and gave autographs. I hate staged pictures. Especially ones that include me. So I wont be sharing that one.. But it just so happens that my phone must have been accidentally set to continuously shoot. So when I asked her to sign my phone [yes I like my autographs in random places, just ask M.I.A., she signed my wallet...]

I got this picture!

23

image, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

So... I had a few really great openers swimming in my head all day. Unfortunately, I didn't bother to write any of them down so all you get is this lame explanation.

Moving on...

It's been a while... since I could... hold my head up high... Just Kidding. Does anyone actually remember who sang that song? I bloody hated it so much that I mocked it constantly. Unfortunately, now I can't: say, type or think, It's been a while, without wanting to tack on the rest of that line...

But it has been a while since I've updated this thing, and in that time I've aged a year and started school... Actually, saying that I aged a year seems grammatically incorrect, I think it implies that I was away from the blog for a year and then came back... Thus, aged a year.

It hasn't been that long. So revision time....

My birthday was on the 3rd, [my favoritest person across the pond's birthday was the 2nd] and I turned 23.YAY ME! Oh god, I'm getting old... Just kidding again! Kind of...

Moving on again...

I also started classes [obviously] and I didn't realize how indoctrinated by the journalism program I had become until I enrolled in my first English class in... Christ, 4 years? My professor has asked us to read and summarize different texts. No problem right? Right. Except, I now read and summarize like a journalist major. Anything more then the bare facts is fluff and is to be eliminated.

Naturally, my teacher grades like an English teacher. Meaning, she expects the fluff to be present. Luckily for me, the professor seems really cool and more than willing to work with students with ticks brought on by their major. The second I told her I was a Journalism major she was like, Ah ok... Just make note of that on your paper.

Funnily enough, in that same class we have to interview someone in the field we want to be in and ask questions on what it's like to be in said field... This should have been easy. After all, I'm a Journalism major... So naturally I would interview a journalist, right?

Wrong. I have no idea if I actually want to be a journalist. I'm double majoring in Journalism and Women studies because I love the subject matter. Also because at the very least, I'll be prepared for a career... [Actually, I think I simply like to over complicate things and I'm most likely going to end up working as a journalist]

But getting back to the point... I was wracking my brain for someone who I could interview and be confident in knowing their answers would matter to me when I remembered... I know a self-employed author who also works as an editor! Perfect! All aspects of her life appeal to me. And as luck would have it, [personally, I think it's just that all authors live and breathe flattery and asking to interview her was a form of flattery] she agreed!

So... yeah that was awesome.

Did I mention my birthday just passed? Cause it did...I'm kind of running on empty now so I leave you with song I'm currently spinning...

...On the day that I turned 23,
I was curled up underneath a dogwood tree
When suddenly a girl with skin the color of a pearl
She wandered aimlessly, but she didn't seem to see...

Furr | Blitzen Trapper | Furr

Beat

Beat, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat... With a baseball bat!
Oh yeah, oh yeah...
Oh oooh....

Beat on the Brat | The Ramones

I am once again in the cafe called Sipology.

Sip-ol-ogy: [noun] : A cafe that makes unbelievably good latte's | [verb] the process of drinking an unbelievably good latte from Sipology.

So ok, the definitions are mine, but this place is amazing. And yet another reason to love Long Beach. Call me biased [which I'm sure you will] but the hidden gems here are amazing. I'm willing to put Long Beach a notch above downtown la for the shear gayness of the city. Which is cool.

Cause I'm a little gay girl.

Speaking of little gay girls... I've been trying to hold off blogging about this. Because hope springs eternal that I'll soon be a taken little gay girl. At which point, it would be highly embarrassing if she read this... But alas...

I met someone.

And she's... older. [like always]. Taller than me [barely]. Lives in San Francisco [an hour away]. And asked for my number & email [gave me hers as well].

So yeah... we talked for about 8 hours straight about... Music, politics, randomness... and it was great in a big way. And she was my type in a big unidentifiable way... [I can never describe my type when asked, but I always know it when I see it...]

So... yeah... all good, right?

The Truth | You have to love a cafe that plays | Handsome Boy Modeling School

Snide, Smug, Rude, Fake

Coachella Campgrounds, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Me, apparently.

The title I originally planned for this post was: Crisis of Faith

I've lashed out and now feel as childish, as the spirit in which the words were given to me. But it doesn't change the fact that I'd like to lash out more.

What bothers me the most, is that I continuously operate under the assumption that when there is a problem, people will talk them through like adults. Or rather, when there is a problem, people will speak up.

And yet, the opposite is the truth that holds. When there is a problem, people will run away like children while quietly calling names.

Snide. Smug. Rude. Fake.

Me, apparently.

Jaded to friendship.

Me, definitely.

---------------------------------

edit: It's funny, but I was sitting here trying to become less pissed when Quiet Dog, Bite Hard by Mos Def started playing on my iTunes shuffle.

One thing I want to assure them

If they think I'm going to change.

Or compromise my attitude and my way of life

In my expression or in my goal

What's politics?

They're making me stronger.

And I'm much stronger now.

-------------

I've decided this wont affect my outlook on life. If I've learned anything in my practice it's that the only person I have control over is me. I held onto this friendship much longer then I should have. It's funny, because at the beginning of the friendship the ending was foreshadowed. Multiple times in fact. Last year, I should have headed the warnings and let it go. Foolishly I thought I needed it. Foolishly, I thought moving forward we would be more inclined to talk through our problems. I was wrong, and that's okay. It wasn't the first time and it wont be the last.

I don't know, in the long run... it'll be all good.

Rhapsodic

Welcome to Coachella, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Tip toeing through the used condoms...
Strewn on the piers off the west side high way,
Sunset behind the skyline of jersey
Walking towards the water with a fetus holding court,
In my gut,
My body highjacked,
My tits swollen
And sore...

The River has more colors at sunset
Then my sock drawer ever dreamed of
I can wake up screaming sometimes, but
I dont.
I could step off that news pier but I've got shit to do
At unemployment on Tuesday
To shed uninvited blood
And tissue, neh
Blood and Strife

The unwritten rap at the end of Coming Up by Ani DiFranco

Just thought I'd share that with you all. Why? Because....BITCH I MIGHT BE!

In other news, I almost want to change the title of today's post. After all, that's a great title that shouldn't be wasted on the nonsense that is... this. Oh well. I am now listening to Centrifuge by Pomplamoose.

Have I hyped these two yet? I feel like I have... But maybe I haven't. And since I'm really grooving [not really, I'm just laying here... but on the inside... oh by watch out for my moves] to this song. And I really think you all should get a taste of the duo I so enjoy... So check them out! I'd say they sound like the Bird and the Bee. But they don't. I'd say they remind me of the Bird and the Bee. And they do. How that works? I'm not exactly sure. It could be because of the fact that it's a boy girl duo... Or could simply be that there's an underlying vibe that they both share.

Yeah... I'm going to go with that last sentence

Speaking of the Bird and the Bee... If you haven't heard of them yet, please go educate yourself now. Start with the self titled album. Why? Because that's where you can find the songs, Fucking Boyfriend and Again and Again. Then check out the eps Please Clap Your Hands and One To Many Hearts. For Please Clap Your Hands, the songs to look for are Polite Dance Song and So You Say. On One to Many Hearts, you want Last Day of Our Love. And after you've caught yourself up on there back catalogue, get their latest album: Ray Guns Are the Future.

Hmm... Should I just make a mixtape download for you all?

Things I Learned Today

IMG_4646, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

It's been a while since I've done a "Things I learned Today" post, so while editing this post I realized it was time. My original title was... trite. Not on purpose, just well... trite. I've come to some realizations in the few hours that I've been awake. And really, the fact that I've literally only been awake a few hour is a realization in itself. I went from: absolutely no sleep for the 40 hours connecting Monday - Tuesday; to sleeping long into Wednesday before going to a meeting; waking up early and being insanely productive by 2pm Thursday; to... just waking up a few hours ago on Friday. It's 3:27pm. And by a few hours I'm exaggerating the fact it's been about 2 and half hours only.

Yeah... as I'm sure is abundantly obvious at this point, I've got a sleeping problem. At which point, the problem is that I don't. And when I do, my body tries to over compensate. It's troublesome. Lack of sleep makes everything feel do or die, while simultaneously feeling like a high zombie that simply lacks all desire to move.

Heh. High Zombie... "BRAAAAAAAAAAINS! Uh... could you come to me brains? I think the couch is trying to swallow me... Oh.... Is the room spinning?"

In the meantime, the list.

1. I Need A New Coffee Machine.

• The one I have was useless when my mom gave it to me... wow 4 years ago. I kept it for sentimental value but... It's time for me to get real. My mom knew how addicted I was to coffee and she'd never want me to suffer through consistently meager cups of coffee out of some misplaced since of sentiment.

2. I need to finish filling out my fafsa information.

• And really, I do. It's already late, but for some reason I'm dragging my feet on the final step which is simply submitting a few lines saying "My Situation Has Not Changed." It's always the little things that I simply do not want to do.

3. I need to let go.

• I've never enjoyed the chase. It's not about the thrill of persistency and I've seen the kind of person you can become when you are constantly reaching out to people that do not reach back. It's a road that only has hurt on the other end. A road, I vowed early in life never to follow. So what do you do? What do I do? I move on.

No bye. No Aloha

Well met.

.su, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity...

The Second Coming | William Butler Yeats

I'm very fortunate to have met so many amazing people in my life at only 22. Actually, I feel amazing is the wrong word. I'm very fortunate to have met so many people that have opened my mind to so many different paths of.... No that's wrong as well.

I am very fortunate. To have met. The people that have made me who I am.

I don't mean family, though they have shaped me significantly. But I mean, the people who make lasting impressions even if the time they spend actually present in your life is fleeting.

My favorite poem is the The Second Coming by William Butler Yeats, the excerpt above is the first stanza. And as a friend and fellow Buddhist leader left my house just now, the line " Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.." came into mind... Even while I still had a smile on my face. And it was ironic, that this, my favorite line in my favorite poem... Would be so bleak and in such direct contrast to my belief in my faith that is... "No matter what, it will work out."

And this lead me to think about the many people in my life that have shaped my views on life... My AP lit professor who first introduced me to Yeats, by way of the book; Things Fall Apart. My different philosophy professors... my friend in Germany... the strangers I've met in my travels and yet had such great conversations on life with... My comrades in faith...

I'm not sure why, my line of thinking was such as it does not directly follow. However, perhaps it was simply that in that moment that I watched her leave and I reflected on: that poem, myself, and my beliefs... I felt so utterly centered in the core of things. The greater scheme, if you will... That I couldn't help but be grateful to the people who'd helped me to this point.

Truly. At times I feel like such a horrible person, as it is... so difficult for me to stay connected even though I do care so much... And I guess in those moments of binary, all I could think was...

Well met.

Anonymous Glory

Coachella | Feel Good Inc., originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Groove Salad.

While I'd like to take the claim for creating the phrase, it belongs to the people over at SomaFM. Groove Salad is the name of the station I'm currently listening to, and judging by what I've been hearing so far it's mostly chill beats, ambient, and trip hop. I dig it. What's more, it matches so perfectly to the mood I find myself in at 6:40 in the morning after an unironically sleepless night it's crazy.

It's funny. In a kind of, kind of way. Usually when I wake up I need silence for a couple of hours. Complete silence. With noise coming from nothing, including me. I like to slowly enter awareness; to ease into the day seamlessly by integrating sound only after my buffer period of quiet has ended naturally by chance.

However, on days or rather mornings, like this one... When I've watched my window darken through to night only to slowly phase through the colors of early morning... I find music to be the perfect accompany to the mood I usually find myself in.

But what I always find interesting, or pleasant, or random... Or whatever unnamed word of description that matches best... Is when by chance, I press play my on my iTunes player that is chronically shuffled... Or like today [this morning that is], when I stumble upon an internet radio station and press play to the channel that draws me by name...

And find the music selection so tailor made to how I feel... So perfectly appropriate that I think... This is why I love music. Because I live it. It regulates my heartbeat and determines my moods. It hits my system harder then any drug could ever hope to...

And I think, if I cannot have sleep... At least I have this.

"You know, it just might be this anonymous glory... of all things"

What Dreams

eye, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

May come | or | Dream a little dream.

Funny, when I think about movies with 'Dream' in the title only these two come to mind. Furthering the funny, Dream a Little Dream one of my favorite 80s movies probably more so then all of Molly Ringwalds...Came out in 1989. What Dreams May Come came out in 1998.

Coincidence? More then likely.

However, I didn't wake up with the intent to talk about movie titles. The titles are merely an after effect or rather cause made by the dreams I've been having lately.

I've been dreaming lately. Which, if I'm being honest isn't really new. However, my dreams have been more... confused. Not in the sense that I wake up can not remember what I dreamed about... Or at least not on most days. But confused in the emotion they involve. They've become both disturbing in a nightmarish quality I haven't fully experienced since I was young... And, ok I'll put it frankly romantic. And no I don't mean sexy time. I mean, romantic. Which is a problem in itself. The woman I saw last night was a mash up of a new friend and a random woman I encountered at Coachella.

But the dreams are ccnfused. One portion of the dream involves me in some hellish setting. The other, I guess you could say once I'm 'free' involves a girl. Sometimes the two portions meld. Offering bits of both during both. Last night was a bit of a meld.

I'm a buddhist. However, I've been stressed lately and not practicing as much as I should. Last night's horror part of the story will seem exceedingly strange and unlikely. But I dreamed that I was in a supermarket... |Actually I just realized this was my second dream after waking up briefly. The first one was completely disturbing with no respite of romance or friendship|... with my little sister. And while shopping we passed a group of people actually cooking a full meal. Like a massive holiday dinner type meal. It was annoying because they were blocking the aisle , but they seemed nice so I tried to move on. They offered something to my little sister and she became instantly brainwashed.

Weird, I know whatever. But see, these people were part of the Priesthood. Or for some reason I want to say the priesthood, they may not have been. I think they were just another Nichiren Daishonin offshoot. And they chanted "Namu Myoho Renge Kyo."

For some reason the sound of them chanting incorrectly was terrifying. So I ran. While running I ran into a woman, it was only for a second. A brief respite from the terror, then I was running and dodging again. I don't remember how I got them to stop exactly. I think I shouted, "I'M A BUDDHIST TOO! But you're saying it wrong! It's Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo"

And it was over. Or the terrifying part was. Then I was asking around the supermarket for the woman, and right as I was about to leave she comes out of her office. She smiles and we leave the supermarket while talking and flirting. That's pretty much the rest of the dream summed up. However the world when we left the store... Or rather the landscape was very Mad Max-ish just, barren with very little green.

I don't know... To much stress makes dreams and odd world.

Dare

IMG_3560, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Coachella is 7 Days away and I have no idea how to properly put to words how I feel.

After all, the Coachella Music and Arts Festival is much more then a music festival. It's an experience. And describing an experience is a bit like describing a mirage. It'll never be quite like the brilliance you see.

And how could it? How could I explain the experience of listening to the bands that will play Coachella, knowing that soon I'll be experiencing it live? How can I explain the feeling of driving past the windmills, knowing that you're almost there? How can I explain the utter brilliance of standing in the campgrounds at sunset, looking around and seeing flags from every country imaginable and knowing everyone there is feeling the same thing? How exactly I describe restless excitement of coming home? Where music reigns supreme and everyone around you simply gets it?

Because, for those like me... The Campers, the die-hards, the people that attend rain or shine, no matter the tragedy experienced through out the rest of the year... Coachella is a breath of fresh air. A moment of sanity in a world of chaos. It's 3 days of music and 4 Days of celebration. A haven.

And just, how does one explain all that?

Gotta

IMG_4717, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Three things. One day.

Thing one. While walking to Starbucks to get my pre-class coffee [Starbucks, because I've degenerated into a level of laziness that no longer permits me to make my own in the morning.] I noticed a snail on the ground. My first thought was, 'gross!' as I continued to walk by. However, a few feet past I thought, 'I should take a picture of it.'

Thing two. While waiting for the bus, I saw a man looking through an ash tray on the top of a trash can for a used cigarette. I offered him a new one. He looked at me like I was crazy.

Thing three. While walking home after my Intro to the Women's Movement class, I pass two women talking and walking in the opposite direction. As we approach to pass each other, I hear the woman closest to me say, "You gotta be healthier." And in the heartbeat that we are aligned, I see the other woman nod and a agree. It's only as I take the step to move beyond them that I fully realize the woman that agreed was holding a half eaten corn dog from the gas station I was about to pass.

Fuck Those Bitches

Thievery Corporation, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

The most ridiculously disrespectful thing I've read today comes from a female buzzer that shall remain nameless. [Truly I've already forgotten her name, to insure I can't pass it around for open mocking.] The quote?

"I have decided that I have a problem with Feminists. Not feminism, that's all well and good - but feminists... fuck those bitches"

...Ok? So how about this, you go back in time and tell the women that faced constant degradation to insure you could: Vote, get a real Education, retain personal Wealth, have some say in what goes on with your Body.... That you're down for the cause, but you'd be just as happy living in a society where you literally considered a ward of your husband.

Then come back to the present day and tell the women that continue to: try and raise awareness for women's issues, attempt to raise awareness to the fact that while there are more women with higher degrees and in the professional-non-working-class arena they still get paid noticeably less then their male counterparts... That you're down for the cause and appreciate all of the belittling they get while trying to work for the good of all women and men* ...But they really need to realize they're nothing more then dogs on the street.

I mean, that's fair right? And it absolutely makes since. Much like this next sentence will.

I have decided that I have a problem with Green foods. Not broccoli, that's actually pretty good - but green foods... Gross.

Made sense, right? Right? Bueller?

___

and Men* = Feminism by it's very nature, by it's very purpose... Is for the good and equality of of all genders. Not to elevate women to a position higher then men. After all, when you do away with female stereotypes... You similarly do away with male stereotypes

Foodie

Yum!, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

I've recently come to the conclusion that being a foodie is expensive.

What's more, I think for a long time I was in denial about how much of a foodie I am. I used to simply shrug and tell people I was insanely picky eater. Which was always true, however, i'm starting to realize it was much more then that. I love food. And I think foodie's are often typecast as food snobs that can't enjoy a meal unless it's expensive ethnic fusion of some sort. And for sure, there are some self proclaimed foodies that are exactly that way. However, a real foodie is someone that enjoys food. They enjoy watching food shows, making food, trying new things, and would be just as happy with a tasty expensive meal as they would be with food from a delicious street vendor.

Food becomes much more then something you ingest for nourishment and becomes something you create. Something you share with your friends and talk about later.

So... yeah. I'm a foodie. And it's expensive. Not because I'm constantly buying foods far to expensive for my means... But I'd rather make my meals then buy, ready made foods. I enjoy the process for shopping for food and crafting meals. The problem, however, is that I get caught up single meals. Or foods that will last for a short period of time. I buy all the necessary items for a couple different meals and by the time I'm done $50 are gone as well. I get home, and I give a happy sigh that lasts a few days to a week.

Then another idea hits... It would be so good if I had this, that and the other food... Cause then I could make, blah, blah and blah.. So 1 and a half weeks later I'm back at the grocery store! And it becomes impossible to spend anything less then $30 dollars, because fresh fruit is expensive, seasonings are expensive, unprocessed foods in general... Are expensive.

For me at least. But it is, what it is. I don't go to the movies. I don't have a tv, so no cable bill. And the general public would be a little shocked if I mentioned when the last time I'd bought new clothes or shoes.

So in the end I indulge my love of food and trying new things with only a minimal amount of guilt. Cause, yum!

Buzzin

The Go! Team, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

First things first, let's dedicate a moment to look upon Ninja with love absolute love, for how awesome she is... Oh yes, love.
__

Now I'd like to talk about how much I love Google Buzz. Seriously, I'm all a twitter with glee for it. I just configured my profile [which can be found here for all you other early adopters...] And it's really cool. I love the way I can get updates from two of my favorite tech blogs right from my Buzz page. I also really like the way my Buzz profile has a single bar that shows my flickr page, without being to jarring or 'LOOK AT ME' ish, you know?

Probably not.

But in other, slightly less tech related news [it's time to put my geek away]... I lost my atm card two weeks ago. And lucky me, the day before I lost it I realized that I needed to pay my cellphone bill. So... I've equally been without a cell phone for the past two weeks. For the most part, it's not been that bad. After all, it gives me a legitimate excuse not to call home. [I know what you're thinking. 'For SHAME!' and 'Call your poor grandmother, right NOW!' Or possibly even, 'I don't know how you SLEEP at night!'] ....Actually all of that, may just be the voice my family had implanted in my head at birth so I always have a healthy dose of guilt on hand. However, it can't be helped! I don't have anything to say.

By and by... I ordered a replacement card immediately, because I still needed to buy a compilation book that my teacher put together online. After calling I was told that my card would be in my hands within 4 days. Meaning, it should have been in my hands last Wed at the latest. Thursday...Friday... And realization hit.

My atm card was sent to my grandmothers house... In LA. So I had 3 options.

1. Call home and have an awkward 'I know I haven't called in 2 weeks now, but I think my atm card got sent there can you overnight it?' Conversation
2. Call my credit union and have THAT card canceled and a new one sent to my current address. Which would mean another week or more without my card. Or
3. Email my Aunt at work, explain everything and hopefully have my atm card by Monday.

I'm a bit of a coward, I was going to go with option 2, until I realized had option 3. So I fire off my email Friday and eagerly wait for confirmation that it was received. Saturday.. Sunday.. Monday.. Finally, today after I've all but given up hope my aunt responds. Apparently, Friday and Monday were holidays, who knew? [That was rhetorical] So now, I have to wait until tomorrow for my aunt to email letting me know whether someone's put my card in the mail.

Which in a round about way brings us back to Google Buzz, by way of Gmail. Buzz, it's what you do... lol

+1

Total Eclipse of the Moon, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

I was just reading a story where a tried and true sickly sweet argument was occurring.

"I love you."
"I love you, more"
"I love you most"
I love you, times infinity.

And then finally....

"I love you, times infinity +1!"

And the argument is won. But I just had to laugh. Because what is it about the +1 that is such a game changer? What's more it's an accepted game changer among children. One does not simply say, "Well I love you, infinity +2!" It's just not done. For some reason, as a collective we have decided that the already infinite number can have a single +1, anything more then that is just being ridiculous.

But when you think about it, the +1 is already ridiculous. How can you add 1 to a limitless number? If we're going to deal in the impossible why is it not ok to simply continue the argument all the way up to infinity times infinity?

Maybe because even as children we understand the mess we'd be getting ourselves into. Much like, "The Song That Doesn't End..." Once you start there's an innate knowledge that it would be quite difficult to stop.

So we stop at +1. And feel smug about tricking our partner into saying, "... times infinity."

I < /3 Facebook

Question?, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

That's 'I Hate Facebook' for those not up on their internet speak.

Which beg's the question, 'Why?' Or perhaps, "How?"

To put it plainly, I don't know. I'll lay back and start at the beginning, which I'm fairly certain, starts with Senior year. [Ha! You thought I was going to go with the cliche, 'It starts when I was born, Doctor...']

By and by, senior year in high school happened and I, with my one class, eagerly looked forward to graduating and never seeing anyone I went to school with again. After all, this had been promised to me by pop culture. It's the way things work.

You make shallow friends that you put up with simply because it would be to troublesome to stop hanging out with them | You graduate | You don't hear from or of them until the 10 year high school reunion. At which point you either gloat about being the CEO at the company that they are in fact, merely a peon... Or you proclaim with conviction to have invented the Post-It.

And despite the fact that by 2015, no one in their right mind would believe I invented the Post-it, it would be my lie of choice. Well, that or I'd show up with a group of super dyke lesbians that I'd met in a bar specializing in bondage, hours before the reunion.... But unlike the main character of Sister Safety Pin, I doubt I could pull that off.

So anyway back to my point, or subpoint, I'd expected to never hear from these people again until the reunion. A 10 year reprieve if you will. But instead, Myspace happens. Which in the beginning was really of no concern to me, I was content with my LiveJournal. Then Facebook happens. And "OMGOSH!!11! We all got into college!! We can totally join!" Because five years ago, Facebook was still something of a novelty.

But alas, still no real concern to me. I had zero plans of getting either. So what happened you ask? How did I go from happily abstaining from both, to unhappily having a profile on each by the end of my first semester in college?

Peer Pressure. The two P's that never cease to ruin lives. And I know what you're thinking. Or rather, I know what I would be thinking if I read such a ridiculous post. "Why not delete them then?"

Truthfully? I don't delete my myspace account, because Myspace has written itself out of relevancy. There's no point even working up the minimal energy required to delete it. However, Facebook has managed to situate itself so firmly into the psyche of not only my age group and below... But as the news anchor that came to speak to my Women in Mass Media class today said, "Having a Facebook account used to be an optional thing. These days, in the 24/7 instant news era, a Facebook and a Twitter account are mandatory."

Twitter, I understand. It's the quickest way to get the pulse on major invents as well as the quickest way to get information out. Facebook? Not so much.

However, I'm fairly certain that has more to do with me being a cantankerous old man when it comes to certain things. Truly at times I feel like bending over into the shape of an L, grabbing a nobly cane or broken root and shaking it in the air as I yell... "Get of my lawn!" Or more appropriately... "GO AWAY!" Who I'm yelling that to I'm not exactly sure, because I'm half blind from squinting at my computer screen all day.

However, while I sit back and grumble while my imaginary wife wipes the spittle from my mouth... I'm fairly certain the sounds of my mumbling... "God Damn Facebook..."** Can be heard.

________

**Courage the Cowardly Dog is a cartoon that used to [may still] come on Cartoon Network. The old man from that cartoon is the old man I envision my disagreeable self as. He's also known to mumble, "God damn dog...." Funny stuff.