Anonymous Glory

Coachella | Feel Good Inc., originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

Groove Salad.

While I'd like to take the claim for creating the phrase, it belongs to the people over at SomaFM. Groove Salad is the name of the station I'm currently listening to, and judging by what I've been hearing so far it's mostly chill beats, ambient, and trip hop. I dig it. What's more, it matches so perfectly to the mood I find myself in at 6:40 in the morning after an unironically sleepless night it's crazy.

It's funny. In a kind of, kind of way. Usually when I wake up I need silence for a couple of hours. Complete silence. With noise coming from nothing, including me. I like to slowly enter awareness; to ease into the day seamlessly by integrating sound only after my buffer period of quiet has ended naturally by chance.

However, on days or rather mornings, like this one... When I've watched my window darken through to night only to slowly phase through the colors of early morning... I find music to be the perfect accompany to the mood I usually find myself in.

But what I always find interesting, or pleasant, or random... Or whatever unnamed word of description that matches best... Is when by chance, I press play my on my iTunes player that is chronically shuffled... Or like today [this morning that is], when I stumble upon an internet radio station and press play to the channel that draws me by name...

And find the music selection so tailor made to how I feel... So perfectly appropriate that I think... This is why I love music. Because I live it. It regulates my heartbeat and determines my moods. It hits my system harder then any drug could ever hope to...

And I think, if I cannot have sleep... At least I have this.

"You know, it just might be this anonymous glory... of all things"

Breathe in | pause | Exhale

Randomly Yours, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Today has been a long day.

I don't think I've really slept in the past 38 hours and it's definitely catching up to me. By 4 this morning I was boarding a train back to Sacramento. And despite my best efforts, no reading was actually done on the 6 hour trip between LA and Sac.

Well actually that's a lie. I've been re-reading IV by Chuck Klosterman. Seriously? The guy is the writer I want to be. He writes and expresses his thoughts in the perfected fashion that I attempt. Not only that, but his sense of humor is so dry that you'd absolutely miss it if you weren't paying attention. Now while Chuck managed to keep my horribly sleep deprived mind's attention [like always], he was absolutely not what I had planned to read.

What did I plan to read, you ask?

Well, it just so happened that last week I got my hands on [fingers on] a virtual treasure trove [literally virtual] of e-books [I know, i know! Tsk tsk on so many levels! E-books? Acquired?] However, so not the point. The point is, I got my hands on a few books I've been wanting to read but dragging my feet in buying. In addition to those, I got a few books I'd vow to give a try but refused to buy. All together I'd say I acquired about 40 books, and I'd been eagerly awaiting this weekend, after all... Lack of cable + lack of internet + a couple pounds of coffee = Perfect opportunity for a full literary submersion.

Unfortunately.... Lack of Sleep + Zero Furniture + Hardwood Floor = Way to uncomfortable to enjoy a short nap, let alone long term readng.

Meaning? A new mission was born. I had to go buy a bed. So to Walmart I went!

...And immediately realized that I maybe should have brought a map. The Walmart I went to was seriously the size of Disneyland. Do you have any idea how hard it is trying to navigate a store like Walmart of that size, with out any caffeine running through your blood stream? It was slightly terrifying. Like one of those bizarre dreams where everything is disproportionately big and no one can understand you because of how small you are in comparison. After about an hour and a half in there I managed to grab: half & half, an air bed, bananas, and a couple sandwiches... Then I briskly walked out hoping for the world to make sense again.

Really, this whole day has just been sort of surreal in the way only sleepless days can be. Immediately after leaving the almost to cold Walmart with it's insane size, I was thrust into Sacramento's version of summer: 100 degree F. heat.

It's been crazy, it's been long, and this may not be as coherent as I'd like it to be. However, the heat has passed and I've got a deliciously made Americano with toffee-nut.

All and all, it wouldn't be completely unreasonable to say the scales were starting to balance.

Today I learned...

IMG_3805, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

So once again, on this day that ends with d-a-y much like every other day... I have learned something. Quite a few somethings in fact. What? You ask. Enquiring minds want to know! You exclaim.

Well probably not.

However, sitting here with the Black Ghosts playing in the background I'm overcome with the urge to share anyway. So let's begin.

Today I learned:

1. I detest being kidnapped. Or rather, Personnapped. I haven't been a kid since I hit double digits. A little over a decade now.... [Yes yes! You love how I make myself seem older by saying "A little over a decade now" instead of... Since I was 10.] 

• To be fair. I wasn't personnapped today. In fact, I left with my aunt [somewhat] willingly 2 days ago. However, I left under the impression I would be returned to safety yesterday.... Not kept awake 2 days straight while in the presence of children no older then 4.... So not cool
  

2. I really don't like children that aren't my own.

• Well... That's not fair I suppose... I've not had any children. And I don't particularly dislike all children. That would mesh horribly with my future plans to dedicate a year as a volunteer abroad. 
  

So ok... Slight revision.

2b. I dislike the constant noise associated with unsupervised hyper children. - Not so much a new thing learned, as a.... Thing that I suddenly knew with absolute clarity.

3. If they don't have anything nice to say, I REALLY need to just walk away.

• Ok once again, this one technically came to me over the past couple of days... But bugger that. It's a huge realization. Arguing[slash]Debating with people with fundamentally different opinions then your own is like shouting at a brick wall; leaving you with a form of mental blue balls. Pissed and completely unsatisfied with the way things ended.
  

4. I should never again go two and a half days with out sleep or coffee. It's just... not conducive to me being anything remotely like a pleasant person to be around