Cold Fame

View from my room, originally uploaded by SisterSafetyPin.

I woke up this morning and could no longer handle the chaos that was my room.

So the quest began.

It was strange. Usually, after letting my room go, the process of cleaning it is an affair in which I spend the entire grumbling. Utterly annoyed with myself. However, today as I cleaned I felt some of my sanity returning.

Perhaps it was simply the process of cleaning that helped me organize my thoughts and put things in perspective. Perhaps my clustered room was simply the cause of my clustered thoughts. I'm inclined to believe it was a combination of the two, with a few added others contributing to my insanity.

By and by.

Maybe if I try just a little more, I can take myself from this dirty floor.

Walk through buildings of elegance, just like you are intelligent.

But still I fall from grace with this microphone,

how'd you find yourself if you never roam?

Certainly I'm indebted baby, certainly, certainly...

I know my place, but it don't know me.

Cold Flame | Band of Skulls

Self-Amused?

The Kills, originally uploaded by nicolemonet2002.

Is it wrong that I amuse myself? Am I to much in my head? Sometimes I wonder.

I mean, it can't be a good thing that sometimes I'm not sure if I've spoken out loud or simply thought something. And believe me, that happens a lot. And it's NOT amusing when one isn't sure whether you've said something insanely scathing within the hearing range of the person said scathing thoughts/words were spoken near.

However, on the other hand... It does provide me with a constant reel of things I did/said/wrote that I found amusing. That can't be bad. In fact it could be said to be a tad narcissistic, but it's really not! I'm just used to amusing myself!

...And apparently it's gotten a bit extreme...

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Bah. I've come to accept my insanity. In fact, if ever I completely realize all of the facets of said insanity I'll write a book. It'll be titled "Dissecting my Crazy." Book reviewers may call it a self-indulging waste of trees. However, with out a doubt it will have a few lovers. After all, there's got to be others in the same boat. High functioning crazy people just trying to figure out exactly how crazy they are. And the book would be amusing. So maybe it wouldn't be immediately written off. After all, everyone likes to read about how crazy other people are. It gives them a sense of security. Relief. It gives them the ability to say, "Oh thank heavens, at least I'm not that bad"

In a way, I'd be doing a public service while providing a wee bit of humor into my self-depreciation. I would be the example to hold up. I would stand there as an example that, yes. Crazy is the new sub-genre of normal. It's ok. I'll walk you through this.... You know, when I'm not being distracted by my own insanity.

Actually, I think when ever I do write and publish "Dissecting my Crazy." I'll add a small blank journal to the back. Or have it sold with a separate journal. The title of course would be, "Dissecting YOUR Crazy." The sub-title will of course be, "Acceptance is the first step to Infinity." The sub-title of course will be confusing to non-crazy people. However, knowing you're crazy doesn't change your crazy. It just means that you acknowledge it and plan on playing it off as a quirk.

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Really... the original point of this post was to see if being amused by things I've done in the past made me odd...

Deus. Maybe I should just stick to blogging